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Bubba Knows Everybody
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Bubba's boss was getting tired of Bubba proclaiming that he "knew everybody" in the world.

"Okay, Bubba," his boss said one day, "Prove to me that you know everybody in the world. Do you know Tom Cruise?"

"Oh, me and Tom go way back," said Bubba.

So the boss bought airline tickets to Hollywood, and pretty soon Bubba was knocking at Tom Cruise's door, and was shortly admitted by the butler. Tom rushed to greet Bubba and invited him for lunch, and they had a good time discussing movies and things.

"Well, I'm impressed," said the boss when they left. "But I bet you don't know President Bush."

"Aw, sure I do," said Bubba, and with that they were off to Washington, and pretty soon, the White House guard was escorting the two men into the Oval Office.

"Hiya, Bubba!" said the President, warmly embracing him.

After a nice visit and a chat with the Cabinet secretaries, they left. The boss was suitably impressed, but not giving up.

"Okay, Bubba, I'm going to ask you if you know the ultimate celebrity -- the Pope."

"Why, for sure I do!" said Bubba, and pretty soon they were on an airplane to Vatican City.

They found themselves in St. Peter's Square in a crowd of thousands, and Bubba said, "Heck, I can't see nothin' from here," and so he went right up to the Swiss Guards and the doors opened to him.

The boss waited outside in the square. Pretty soon the door to the upstairs balcony opened, and out comes John Paul II and Bubba. They began to smile and wave at the crowd, with their arms around each other. Shortly thereafter Bubba decided to return to the Square. When he got there, an ambulance was loading his Boss into the back.

Bubba rushed up and said, "What happened, Boss?" The boss says, "I was doing fine until you came out on the balcony and the guy next to me says, 'Who is that guy on the balcony with Bubba?'"

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