[GospelWeb.net Globe]
The Gospel- 24/7
Church Saints Compared To
Players On Football Team
Author Unknown
Too True But Still Funny
Follow Book & Flag

Dear Saints,

Well, it is that inevitable time for sports enthusiasts and others for the big Super Bowl activities. In fact, I heard that Fox Network is going to begin pre-game activities this morning, the game isn’t until 5:30 p.m. this afternoon!

Sports are not bad. In fact the Apostle Paul himself used numerous sports related illustrations in his writings. He spoke of endurance, finishing the race, fighting the good fight, training, and on and on.

With anything else, moderation is still the prerogative of the Christian. We are not to let anything other than the Lord Jesus Christ control us and are to seek Him with a fervor. I hope that we can keep all the week’s buildup, hype and today’s game in proper perspective in light of eternity. There are eternal issues and then there are life issues. Football is not an eternal issue. It doesn’t matter in eternity the outcome of today’s game.

With that said, I thought you would enjoy the following:

Church Football

Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Halftime - The period between Sunday 5chool and worship when many choose to leave

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) repeatedly during the service.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.

Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.

Trap - You’re called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Halfback Option - The decision of 75% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".

I hope you found that as humorous as I did. Maybe you didn't! Oh well, the warped humor of a pastor! Smile!

I love you.

Go To Culture War Index

Go To Free E-books Index

Go to Spurgeon Sermons Index

Go to Church Humor Index

Go To General Humor Index

Go To Southern, Texas, Yankee Joke Index