* No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

* When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

* If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

* Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

* You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

* Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.

* Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

* Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

* Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

* School lunches stick to the wall.

* You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

* Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

* The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.