486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford.

Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

G4: Apple's new Macs that make you say, "Gee, it's four times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a microsecond ago."

GUI (pronounced "gooey"): What your computer becomes after spilling your soda on it.

Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

Laptop: A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.

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