Collection of Short
Funnies From Real Life

Part 4 - Compiler Unknown

Efficient But Stupid

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven." -- From Bayshore Bulletin

Grumpy Old Man

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn't miss them until after they had been driving about 20 minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man.

He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he scolded her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her.

"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card."

Shame On Her!

At long last, the good-humored boss was compelled to call Smith into his office. "It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor."

"You know you're right, sir!" exclaimed Smith. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking it, do you?"

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