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Television Psalm

Author Unknown

The TV is my Shepherd, I shall not want anything else.
It maketh me to lie down on the sofa.
It leadeth me away from the Scripture.
It destroyeth my soul.
It leadeth me in the paths of sex and violence for the sponsors sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will enjoy the evil, for blood and sex, they excite me.
It prepares a filthy commercial before me in the presence of my children.
It anoints my head with humanism. My coveting runneth over.
Surely laziness and ignorance shall follow my family all the days of our lives,
and we shall dwell in the house watching TV forever.

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