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I just finished washing my hair and as I was looking at myself in the mirror while brushing my hair, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of love for Jesus. Four years ago, I was unable to even walk to the mailbox at the end of the trailer park. I couldn’t take the garbage out or make my bed. I only left my house when I needed food or had to go to a support group. I occasionally went and spent the weekend with my sister.
My office window in my trailer faces a half-way house and I would stand there for a long time and wish that I could be like them. I wanted to be able to talk to people and be recognized as a person who had a right to live. I would go in my bedroom to make my bed, but couldn’t do it. I would pick up the sheet and just stand there crying. I was literally dead inside. I had no hope and no reason to live.
I would think about all the people who I had hurt in my life, about all the hateful and cruel words I said to my family, and just weep. I was sorry for the things I said and the way I acted, but that didn’t take the pain from their hearts.
When I was lying underneath the hospital bed many years ago, I told God if He would get me out of there, I would serve Him as long as He helped me. He has been Faithful to me all of my life and I don’t deserve Him. I definitely do not deserve to be Loved by the Saviour of the world. O how I love Jesus! Do you love Him today?