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All of us have corners in our hearts that are full of hurt that we have kept hidden from our families, from our friends, and from the world. Sometimes we don’t even realize that we have these things in our hearts. Every time someone says something criticizing and cruel to us another layer of resentment and hurt is deposited in our hearts. We need to go to Jesus daily and ask Him to please take His broom of understanding, love and mercy and sweep away all of the bitterness, resentment and hatred from our hearts or we will become indifferent, calloused and cold hearted.
Many times we wear a false smile on our faces. We laugh and talk with the people who have hurt us but inside we are hurting and filled with unforgiveness and resentment. We may have told them that we had forgiven them but in our hearts we had not forgiven them. Unless we forgive from our hearts, we have not really forgiven them. It makes satan very happy if he can cause conflict between people. Often we listen to the lies that satan plants in our hearts instead of listening to Jesus who tells us the truth.
Up until two years ago I listened to the lies of satan. Several times a day, he would tell me that I was no good that nobody cared if I lived or died, that I didn’t have a right to live and that Jesus would never love me. As I think back on all those years that I listened to the lies of satan, I realize that it was only the mercy, love and saving grace of Jesus that kept me from committing suicide. Jesus really did love me through all those long and seemingly endless years filled with horror and devastating depression no matter what lies satan told me. This is why it is so important to keep our minds focused on Jesus rather than on people and the world. People will fail us just as we will fail them because nobody is perfect and we are still in the flesh. There was only one perfect person who ever lived or ever will live and His name is Jesus!
I think if during all those years that I believed the lies of satan that if somebody would have given me a hug and told me that Jesus loved me, the fear and terror in my heart would not have been so overwhelming and I wouldn’t have felt completely alone and isolated from the world. I don’t think I would have spent so many years in depression had I known that somebody cared about me. I’m sure that my family cared about me but satan had so poisoned my heart with his lies that I didn’t trust anybody and didn’t believe anybody.
I live across from a half way house for people who have emotional problems and are unable to live alone. I used to look out my window and cry because I so wanted to be able to go outside and sit on the porch like they did. I was unable to take the garbage out, walk to the mailbox, make my bed or even take a bath because I was completely dead inside. I would walk from one end of my trailer to the other end because I felt like I was in prison and there was no way I could get out. I had no hope and no desire to live.
I urge you to go to Jesus and allow Him to sweep all the lies that satan has told you and all the bitterness, hurt and resentment from the hidden corners of your heart. It hurts Jesus when He sees us hurting. He loves us so much and desires for us to live a life filled with peace, joy and happiness. Don’t allow satan to rob you of your joy!